The Hidden Truth About Mentors and Coaches by Alagbe Sewanu

“If I told you this about your mentors, you’d probably not believe me.”

Years ago, I was on a call with some coaches and shared a bold financial goal—I wanted to achieve a million before a certain age. I knew it was an ambitious dream, but I didn’t realize just how much it stretched the boundaries of possibility.  

Surprisingly, these mentors didn’t dismiss my goal as “too ambitious.” Instead, they encouraged me to remain focused on my academics and maintain my moral compass as I pursued it.  

But here’s the catch:  

- What if they had their own fears that I might lose myself in the process and chose to calm me down instead?  

- What if they compared my ambitions with what they had achieved at my age and concluded I was doing too much?  

- What if they felt threatened by my aspirations and sought to extinguish my fire by accusing me of trying to “rush the process”?  

- Have you ever considered that some people might intentionally withhold critical information—knowledge that could help you become what they could not?  

Think about that.  

Anyone who has walked the path you’re on holds a dangerous authority—they can either accelerate your growth or hinder it, all under the guise of offering guidance.  

This dynamic plays out more often than we realize.  

Today, I see younger people accessing opportunities I never dreamed of at their age—opportunities that could set them up for success early in life. And now, I face a choice:  

1. Encourage them to seize these opportunities, knowing full well where those paths could lead, having walked a similar road.  

2. Hold back or discourage them, especially when they appear not to take those opportunities seriously because they can’t yet see the value in them.  

This is the very dilemma your mentors and coaches face every day.  

They can sense your potential. They know when you’re exceptional. It’s only you who doesn’t fully grasp the significance of your gifts—the things you’re capable of doing effortlessly.  

This is why discernment is crucial. Be intentional about who you call mentors or coaches and the people you share your deepest aspirations with. Look beyond their words and advice; see who they truly are.  

“Virtue affects the flow and the after-effects of the disbursement of resources.” Sewanu, AD 2000  

Character matters. Virtue matters. And in all you do, remember: know no man according to the flesh.

Choose your mentors wisely.  

Until next time.