How journalism reshaped the way I understand society and people — Alagbe Shenayon

One of the things journalism made me realize early is this: every person is fighting a battle you can’t see. And because of that, I’ve learned not to be quick to judge or being one sided. 

Over the years I’ve interviewed a lot of people, some of those stories made it to publication, some didn’t. But one stayed with me. It was about relationships. I came across two cases of women physically assaulting men. 

Society has painted this issue in a way that makes it hard to talk about. When I tried to share the story, some people laughed. The general feeling is that it’s “not manly” for a man to be beaten by his wife or girlfriend. We’re used to hearing about men abusing women, so when the roles are reversed, the man is seen as weak, and if he fights back, he’s called abusive.

Journalism taught me to step back from that. Not to be judgmental. To listen. Sometimes society needs to pause and rethink the ideologies we take for granted, the things we assume are “normal” that actually aren’t. 

There are situations involving men that are deeply unfair, and they don’t get the same space to be heard. That’s just my personal opinion, based on what I’ve seen over the years.

Over the years, I’ve seen a lot of cases where men were at fault. But there was one particular situation in Nigeria that stuck with me.

At some point, it felt like rape allegations were becoming so common that some women started using them as leverage. If a man wronged them, they’d label him a rapist just to get back at him. I remember one case where a woman falsely accused her husband of rape, and it later came out that he didn’t do it.

There was another situation where a lady accused a guy of rape. Because he didn’t support her claim, she doubled down, labeled him, and things spiraled out of control. The guy tried to clear his name, and it was eventually found out that he didn’t rape her. When the truth came out, the girl started begging him. But instead of letting it go, people turned on him for taking her to court after she had begged as if he was the bad guy.

That whole thing made me think. My personal opinion is this: we need to be careful about the narratives we accept without question. Not every accusation is true, and sometimes the people we assume are in the wrong deserve a chance to be heard too.